A New Dream
by Korzark
Summary: A short story about the lazy few hours before Shirou and Rin set off on a mission for the Clock Tower.


**Wrote this as a little birthday present to my friend and fellow writer, Catastrophic Bacon. He requested that I write a story of an adventure that Shirou and Rin have after they leave the Clock Tower and travel to help people around the world.**

 **And like with all the writing prompt exercises that I do, I unfortunately ended up completely ignoring the rules.**

 **So without further ado, here's a short story about the boring hours before Shirou and Rin set off on a mission for the Clock Tower.**

* * *

After I graduated as a fully-fledged mage, Shirou and I both decided to work for the Clock Tower. Rather, I decided to work for the Clock Tower and Shirou works for me.

I had been sure that he would want to move back to Japan. I didn't have much I was leaving behind, but he has family and friends, good memories there, and a home that he could go back to. In hindsight, I realize that he already decided to leave behind Japan long ago, when he came to the Clock Tower with me to study in the first place.

The loss of independence was a bit of a problem. Shirou was adamant about being his own person, about being able to make his own choices when the time came to it. He didn't want to be absorbed into the Mages Association like I was. He approved of my choice, but didn't take it as his own. While he largely appreciates the Mages Association for what we do and respects our way of doing things, I feel like some of the things we do leaves a sour taste in his mouth. I don't blame him for thinking this way. We never let it get between us.

But without joining the Mages Association, one simply could not live properly as a mage, or at the very least it was much harder to do so. Though we are hit with many more rules and regulations than a regular mage may be held responsible for, we have enough benefits to more than make up for the annoyances.

Other than the obvious benefit of having a paying full time job, the main benefit of joining the Mages Association, one that Shirou desperately wanted and needed for his purposes, was information. It wasn't the kind of information that you would expect a typical mage to want, but I had been able to decide that Shirou was anything but typical a long time ago. While other mages might want information that could help them increase the power of their circuits, or perhaps the location of any magical artifacts or unoccupied leylines where they could build their workshops, Shirou didn't want these things. He wanted trouble. Literally.

He wanted to go where trouble was, in order to save as many people as he could from the biggest dangers possible. Though honestly, with his affinity for troublesome situations, I would be willing to bet that even without the Mages Association, he could probably discover a doomsday device by walking around in his backyard.

Jokes aside, the bottom line was that he needed the Mages Association, but didn't want to join them. The solution for that was actually quite simple. Instead of being contracted to work directly for the Mages Association, he could just be contracted to work for me. Not as an apprentice, but my partner.

He accepted quite easily, as I knew he would. It was funny. Though we didn't exactly seal any contracts between us, magical or otherwise, this was technically the second time I formed such a partnership with him, though it was the first time for him. I remembered that when he gave me grateful hug. It was a less professional method of sealing a contract than a handshake or a blood oath, but I didn't mind much. I then told him that though I didn't have any command seals to keep him in line this time, I could still exile him to sleep on the couch if he ever disobeyed me.

"Rin?"

I blink once before my attention returns to reality. I'm resting my head in my arms as I lean over onto my dining room table. Shirou is calling out to me.

"Rin?" he asks again.

I turn my head to look at him. He's leaning over the kitchen counter, wearing an apron over a loose shirt and baggy sweatpants, making food for the two of us. Or rather, he's already finished cooking at this point, so he's just putting his food into a set of tupperware containers. It would be our brunch in an hour or two, before we board the plane to Sweden. I'd gotten sick of the mediocre food they served on our flights, so I'd harassed him to ensure that I'd never have to go through that discomfort again. I don't think he minds. I think he would've suggested it up if I didn't.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Is anything wrong?"

I raise an eyebrow at that. "No, nothing's wrong," I say. "Why do you ask?"

He stares into my eyes for a few silent seconds before shaking his head. "Nevermind," he says and ducks down behind the counter to rummage around for more containers.

I'm confused, but I quickly decide that it's nothing, that it's just Shirou being strange as usual.

He stands back up, apparently satisfied with the medium sized plastic container that he found. I watch him as he works. On the surface, he seems completely calm, but I notice his arms have a slight stiffness to them. I'm not surprised.

He's probably a bit nervous. Up until now, most of the missions we've been sent on were administrative in nature. While most mages aren't directly associated with the Mages Association, no independent mage wants to make an enemy of them so they follow their rules. This means that if a mage is conducting a particularly significant experiment or ritual, they need to inform the Mages Association and have somebody come in as a sort of inspector to approve of their research. That's mostly the type of work that we've been doing for the past two years with the Clock Tower.

Aside from a few instances.

The first instance was actually something that happened on our first job for the Clock Tower. It turned out to be a very simple one, despite the intimidating job description. What happened was that a young boy living in Northern Spain had somehow found a cursed artifact that turned him into an incomplete Dead Apostle and had been terrorizing his village for a week or so before we were able to arrive.

It wasn't difficult to subdue him, especially since the curse hadn't completely taken over his mind before we arrived. Shirou and I were able to knock him out and transport him to a branch of the Church within Spain. The artifact was mostly exorcised and the boy survived. He actually lives as a member of the Church now, both out of gratitude and necessity.

The artifact had assimilated itself into the boy's existence and it was impossible to rid the boy of the curse. While it could be subdued, the boy would have to learn to control it under the tutelage of the Church and live out his life as a member and a convenient tool. Apparently the boy literally could not see other Dead Apostles, which ironically made him invaluable for identifying them.

Before we arrived, the boy had been able to hold back the curse far enough that his only victims were livestock. The boy lived in a rural region where superstition was a very relevant part of people's lives, so these were explained away with the possibility that angry spirits had murdered their chickens or some other sort of nonsense.

But even though it was absolute nonsense, it meant that nobody recognized the threat as being magical. It meant that we could keep the body count at zero.

"Alright, I'm done with the food," Shirou says, interrupting my thoughts. I look at him to see him holding up a pair of clear containers. The sandwiches inside don't look particularly special, but I've eaten enough of Shirou's food to know that they'll be delicious.

"That's nice," I say, flashing him a sweet smile. "Now why don't you go bring our suitcases out? We don't want to be late."

He nods and starts to walk away, but after taking a few steps, he freezes in place and turns to look at me.

"Wait a second," he said, his eyes narrowing slightly as he turns to me. "Weren't you supposed to be doing that while I was making food?"

I curse internally, but I tilt my head and try to look as confused as possible. "Oh?" I say. "Was I supposed to do that? I must have forgotten."

Shirou's eyes narrow. It's clear he doesn't believe me. He's always been good at seeing through my acting, he says that it somehow shows in my eyes. Besides, it's not like I was trying very hard. It would be pretty difficult to convince him that I would forget something so conveniently. I drop my oblivious façade and decide to go for the alternative approach.

"I'm sorry, Shirou. I was going to, but I just had to sit down for a while."

"So you're just going to admit it?" he asks. I raise an eyebrow, but let him continue. "The great Rin Tohsaka, backing down from her duties out of laziness?" He says this with a smirk, obviously thinking that he's won. He has no idea how wrong he is. I don't think he'll ever win against me. I wonder how many times I'll have to put him in his place for him to realize that.

I turn away from him, hiding my face, and more importantly my eyes, from view. "How cruel," I say, trying to sound as hurt as possible. "How could you blame me for something that you did?"

I wait a few seconds before I hear Shirou's voice. He doesn't say much at first, other than a confused, "Huh?" By the sound of it, he's a bit suspicious. "How is it my fault that you sleep in every-"

"I'm not being lazy," I cut in. "I'm sore from last night. I can barely stand."

I wait a few seconds for Shirou to speak. The only thing he can say in his flustered voice is, "Wha-," before I interrupt me again.

"Oh, how pitiful I am," I say, putting a theatrical lilt to my voice. "To have fallen in love with a man who just uses me through the night like a raving savage, caring not for me in the coming morning." Okay, that might have been a bit too theatrical, but I'm having fun.

I wait for Shirou to speak. "Y-"

"Oh poor, Rin," I say, turning around to face him. He's blushing a mad red. I can't stop smirking as I get up and walk towards him. "A tragic soul, in love with a beast of a man who forces her to scream out his name during the night. A man who lusts for her body with a passion so strong."

"I-"

"But should we pity the beauty or the beast?" I say, reaching for his face. He backs off, as if surprised that I had gotten so close to him, but his back is against the wall. I push up against him. "We know nothing of why the man lusts for the girl so much. Is he cursed? Is he diseased? Is he mad with love?"

I place my hand on his cheek, happy to find it burning. I can't stop the smile from growing on my face until I let out an involuntary laugh. I hear Shirou sigh from above me. "I hate you so much," he groans. I stop laughing to look up at him and smile, holding it until he breaks and sighs again. "I love you," he corrects himself.

"Then I must be lucky," I say, "to have such a loving boyfriend that will take care of our suitcases." When he sighs in defeat, I back off and free him from the wall, but not before patting his coarse hair and saying, "Good boy."

He grumbles and obediently walks towards our bedroom, but not before saying, "I change my mind. I hate you." It's not very convincing when his face is almost as red as his hair.

I laugh, satisfied that I reminded him of his place in our relationship, and follow him, grateful that his back is towards me. I didn't want him to see the slight blush on my own face. Even though I wasn't as nearly as bad as him, it was embarrassing that I could still be so easily embarrassed after years of being in a relationship with him. Thankfully, I was able to calm myself down enough before we entered our bedroom.

"I'm supervising," I say, when he gives me a look. He sighs and goes into the closet to dig out two large suitcases. As he works, I watch him. He seems a little less tense than before, which is good, but a bit of worry is still lingering in my mind.

I remember the second incident.

It was an accidental event, like the first, but on a much larger scale. Rather than a young boy discovering a cursed artifact and harassing his neighbors, a group of vacationing divers from a cruise ship had accidentally found a large mass of Atlantean runes. With a single drop of blood from one of the divers who had cut himself on some coral, the runes activated, awakening an ancient monstrosity. It killed the divers instantly. It surfaced and destroyed the cruise ship that the divers had come from, killing everybody save for a young bartender who managed to cling to a piece of driftwood and float to the east coast of France.

It was a monstrous artifact that had somehow evaded human contact for centuries, perhaps even millennia, but with the power of the Mages Association, we were able to subdue the threat quite easily. It wasn't just Shirou and me, of course. With a threat this big, the Clock Tower wouldn't risk sending anything but a small army of mages to stop it. While that meant that I had to deal with that bitch, Luvia relentlessly flirting with Shirou, it meant I wouldn't be constantly worrying for our lives.

But I didn't know if I would've preferred the alternative. I spent the entire mission on edge because of stupid Shirou.

Seven other mages, not including Shirou or me, were assigned to this mission. Eight of us were members of the Mages Association, with Shirou technically being an outsider despite being listed as my apprentice. Eight mages who were dedicated to completing this mission on the terms of the Clock Tower and the Mages Association. Shirou followed the rules of the Mages Association too, or more accurately, he hadn't broken any of them. That was because he never had a reason to break them.

But despite him keeping within the lines of the rules during our previous missions, I was afraid. There was one rule of the Mages Association that I suspected Shirou would easily break.

We were lucky with our mission in Spain. The boy had been discreet in his cursed state, carefully hiding from humans eyes, leaving behind signs of magic, but ones that could be rationalized to be something else. We were even luckier that the Church wanted the boy and his curse, even if it was to use him as their tool. They gave the boy protection and they let him keep his life. We were never forced to face that rule.

But in our mission in France? With a non-magical survivor who, without a doubt, witnessed an event caused by ancient Thaumaturgy? With seven other mages from the Clock Tower who were intent on following the rules? I was afraid.

I was afraid that, if it came to it, Shirou would throw away his life to try and stop them from eliminating any nonmagical witnesses to Thaumaturgy. That idiot would have gone and thrown his life away, fighting a small war against seven mages. No matter how skilled we were, there's no way it would have been anything other than suicide.

When the girl died later from natural causes, I felt such a sense of relief that I immediately felt nauseous when I realized that I was celebrating an innocent person's death.

"Rin?"

I'm suddenly aware of the hands on my shoulders, gently shaking me back into reality. I look up to see Shirou looking down at me.

"Yes, Shirou?" I ask, smiling to try and hide my bad mood.

"Are you alright?"

"Of course. Why do you-" He doesn't cut me off, but now that I look at his face, I realize just how concerned he looks. He's frowning and he looks at me with his intense stare. "I'm-" I say, before stopping myself again, realizing that he would know if I lied. I sigh. "I was just thinking about some stuff."

"What sort of stuff?" he asks me. The look in his eyes says that he won't let me avoid answering.

"I was," I trail off, thinking about how I could hide the truth without completely lying to him. "I was thinking about how stupid you are." It's technically the truth. If Shirou weren't such an idiot, I probably wouldn't have to be so worried for him.

I stare directly into his eyes, daring him to find any hint of a lie in them. After a few seconds of staring, he backs off. Apparently he realizes that I was telling the truth, though I still don't know how he does it. The confused and somewhat offended expression on his face is so funny that I laugh and my bad mood fades slightly.

"Riiiin," he whines. I laugh even harder.

It takes a few seconds for me to regain control over myself, but when I do, I walk up to him, give him a kiss on the cheek and walk out the door. I pass by our suitcases on the way. The sight gives me a reminder of the mission we're about to go on, the third mission we'll be going on for the Clock Tower that involves human lives, but the sound of Shirou still whining behind me helps me keep a good mood.

Shirou's an idiot. That fact won't be changing for a while and maybe I'll suffer for it in the future, but it's not like I wasn't aware of his stupidity when I fell in love with him.

It's a choice I made and one I won't regret. I guess I'm just condemned to a life of making sure he stays alive.

I think I'm fine with that.

* * *

Is Rin Tohsaka hard to understand? If you asked her that, she would probably say yes, thinking that she's too unpredictable to fully understand. Too secretive, too cunning, too dishonest.

If she ever told me this, I would agree with her reasoning - I would never ask someone to risk their life by foolishly letting their guard down around the monster that is my girlfriend - but I would still disagree with her answer.

Is Rin Tohsaka hard to understand? Not at all. Honestly, I can't understand why anybody would think otherwise, and it's not just because I've been living with her for so long. I managed to figure her out a few days into the Holy Grail War.

God, that was long ago, wasn't it? I still remember as if it were yesterday. I also remember that the most shocking thing about that whole series of events was discovering that my sweet and elegant high school crush was such a brutish monster. I guess that was what helped me discover her true identity.

Rin Tohsaka is a liar and a hypocrite. If you ever dare let your guard down, she will lie to you maliciously.

"I only saved you because I owed you one."

"The next time we meet, we will be enemies."

"I will win this war, no matter what underhanded tactics I have to use."

She paints herself as this perfectly selfish mage, willing to do anything for the sake of her own goals. But nothing could be further from the truth. No matter how much she hates to admit it, Rin is one of the softest people I know. Good thing for that too. If she actually acted according to what she says, I would be dead a hundred times over. I chuckle to myself, but now that I think about it, I realize just how many times she's seriously threatened to kill me. Maybe our relationship is based on a flimsy case of Stockholm Syndrome. I laugh again at the thought and follow her out of our bedroom.

Rin is one of the most dishonest people in the world, but she's also incredibly easy to understand. She's just had the disadvantage of being exposed to her own lies for long enough that she started to believe them.

She's waiting at our door. On the way out, I pick up the two suitcases I left on the floor. One was filled with clothes and other essentials for life, while the other was filled with a small collection of gems and other essentials for survival. Thankfully, the private planes that the Mages Association provide allows us to avoid customs, but that doesn't make the suitcase any less heavy.

"Come on, Shirou," Rin says. "We're going to be late if you keep dragging on like this."

I get the urge to bite back, but I stop myself quite easily. Even if she was the one to space out and delay us, she'd been able to pull herself out of her bad mood. I didn't want to remind her of whatever she was thinking of.

"Coming, coming," I say.

As I leave the apartment, Rin follows me out and shuts the door. As she's locking it, I take the time to analyze her face from the side. I'm satisfied with what I see. She looks happy and calm, which isn't always the case when we're faced off with any of these types of missions. She was a nervous wreck when we were sent to subdue that kid in Spain, and she was even worse when we had that mission in France.

"Come on, let's go," Rin says. "Our ride should be here by now."

"Yes, ma'am," I say.

As I follow her my mind starts to wander, but thankfully, unlike Rin, I've mastered the skill of walking and thinking at the same time. Here I am, about to go on a mission where I'll be slaying evil and saving lives, but all that I can think about is what's bothering her. Me. Or my stupidity, rather.

I wonder if Shirou Emiya would be disappointed in me? Would the young Shirou Emiya, just rescued by his superhero of a father be disappointed that I'm straying from his ideals? Would the Shirou Emiya of the Holy Grail War, having just fought his future self to defend his dreams, be disappointed that I'm tossing away what he fought for? Would the future EMIYA be disappointed that the conviction when I beat him was a lie?

Am I disappointed in myself for considering the possibility of throwing away my ideals just to make Rin slightly happier? Am I really considering the slight happiness of one person over the lives of many others?

It's honestly surprising how easily I can answer those last questions. It's also surprising how easily I made the decision to sign myself as an official member of the Mage's Association, though I might have been a bit more hesitant if I knew beforehand about how much paperwork I would have to do in order to join. It should have been obvious from their love of rules, rules that I would have to follow from now on, but somehow I hadn't expected it.

I haven't told Rin yet. It's not something I look forward too. Knowing her, she'll feel a heavy guilt when she finds out that I essentially threw away my dream in order to make her happier. But can it really be called throwing away my dream if I'm trying to chase a better one?

I still haven't figured out a way to convince her that my dreams just changed. I do have a secret weapon, but I'm also really nervous about using it, whenever I do.

As we waited for the elevator, I briefly let go of one of the suitcases to shove my hand into my pocket. My fingers toy with the small velvet box I'd been hiding there for the past month.

Rin always said that jewels that couldn't store magical energy were useless trinkets to her. I hope that this particular claim is just one of her lies, and that she wouldn't mind the small ruby embedded in the silver ring I'd bought.


End file.
